The Onion

A thorough analysis of the meaning of “Retina” and how many Macs are not far from being classified as such.

Drivers will have iPhones to keep track of tolls, check traffic, receive messages, and view trip history. Riders will use iPads with the Square payment system to view their location, running total, and of course pay for their ride.

I personally think the the current payment interface works fine, though building on an iPad allows for easy future feature updates. I’m also not sure if drivers would follow the traffic information (prioritizion of maximizing cab fee vs. minimizing travel time).

What idiots. Publishing false information, then removing it after collecting all the signatures and replacing it with other simply misleading information.

Kinnucan, who was arrested on Thursday, is accused of leaking tips that he received from Apple suppliers such as SanDisk and Flextronics to hedge funds managers.

Baidu, currently China’s most popular search engine, is becoming a built-in search option in Safari. The popular video sharing services Tudou and Youku will be part of Apple’s “Share Sheets” to post videos to the web. Similarly QQ, 163 and 126, which are options in Mail, Contacts and Calendar; while Sina weibo, a Twitter-like service, will be integrated should a user want to do a bit of microblogging.

In real life, the Dow closed at 12,874.04 on Feb 13, 2012. However, if they had added Apple instead of Cisco, the Dow Jones would be at 14,926.95. That’s over 800 points higher than the all-time high of 14,164 previously set on 4/7/2008.

How much Apple really affects market indexes.